Episode 4: Desperately Seeking Marriage

This week had a lot less explicit discussions about race and what black people "do and do not do", but it was much more enjoyable than watching Katie beg Andrew to marry her last week (cringe). Though Ashley was again the target of much derison for violating etiquette rules by committing the unforgivable sin of googling, I suspected that some of the shade she received was also part of a cultural miscommunication. Fortunately for Ashley, Mama Karen keeps kinda taking her side, even though she incessantly talks about her behind her back.

Karen- "She's [Ashley's] only 26. Her frontal lobe just came together last year".
Gizelle-"Did it come together when she made the decision to bring us to the bottom of the barrel?"
Karen-"She could use some guidance. She just doesn't know how to entertain mature women"

Karen is deeply upset with Ashley's party throwing behavior, and this comes up again at Ashley's birthday party. For a bunch of very rich women, these ladies are ridiculously thirsty for an open bar. You would think they were grad students.

Karen- "Make sure your guests feel like guests without them having to spend a dime. I'm jus' sayin'"

Gizelle-"No open bar, what type of party is this?"

Fortuantely though, Ashley reputation was salvaged in the end because Michael bought her a Porsche. It was a close call, though. Note to self: a rich husband can bail you out of awkward situations with bougie women.

Karen- "Ashley lost 5 points for that cash bar, but she gained 3 for the Porsche". 

The main story with Ashley, however, was that she googled the housewives and made the mistake of telling Katie about it, who subsequently told ERBODY. 

Katie- "Guess who's been Googling us...Ashley"
Karen- "Oh hell to the no. You don't get this far in Potomac without some bruises and bumps. We don't talk about it and we don't Google each other"
Katie-"And Robyn being in foreclosure, just thinking that was a funny thing to say...people's financial situations are their own."

Now Ashley was wrong for bringing up Robyn's finances like that, but I understand why she Googled. These women brag and brag about how high profile they are and then get mad when people find stuff out about them. But I also suspect that they're experiencing an age/class/cultural disconnect. In this type of community, especially since it's a black community, snitching on someone's finances is not okay. And Ashley may not know the depths of how bad that is because she didn't grow up in that type of community. In the end though, the only one really justified in her level of anger about Googlegate is Robyn, and this led to the best quote of the week.

Gizelle to Robyn- "Katie informed us that Ashley has been Googling all of us"
Robyn-"What is wrong with the child?"
Robyn to Gizelle- "So do I wanna go to this party, knowing that the little girl has been going behind my back and talking shit?"

Robyn-"I have heard about people being thirsty...Ashley is dehydrated. Somebody (pause) give her a glass of water".


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The gif above is my interpretation of what Robyn actually meant, but couldn't say because she's a RHOP.

Eventually though, Robyn confronts Ashley (at her birthday party!) and does accept Ashley's apology. But Ashley stays on notice for ish like this, week after week.

Robyn- "I am annoyed but i'm not mad because i realize she's young...but baby girl better watch what she says".


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Linguistic Observations:

Gizelle, who is normally r-full (it means she pronounces her "r"s), gets super emphatic when she needs to tell us that she could have her ex back anytime she wanted. And interestingly, she turns r-less in that phrase. This is of note because it's a stereotyped black feature, and Gizelle seems only to use it when she needs to make a very clear point about the kind of woman she is.

Gizelle-"If I wanted to get back with Jamal, he'd be sittin right HEA"

The second observation this week is just about Mama Karen's use of "IJS"
Karen- "Make sure your guests feel like guests without them having to spend a dime. I'm jus' sayin'"

Oh Karen. IJS is the most shadetastic way of throwing shade. It's a classic, just like Karen herself. The only other thing that would've made it better is if she was sippin tea when she said it.

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Random Unrelated THOTs (see what I did there):

Katie-"It's the Mrs. room. It's my room now". 

Oh Katie, you're truly the most thirsty and Andrew is pretty patient. You low-key just remodeled this man's condo while he was out of town and got away with it!

Charrisse-"We didn't have a lot. I had to put perms in my hair myself". 

When Charrisse is discussing her earlier financial status, the best way she can think to express it was that she had DIY perms. The horror! Especially compared to the questionable weave she rocks now, but that's none of my business.